Post by Captain Awesome on Nov 4, 2008 19:01:29 GMT -5
A strange theme song hits the arena sound system as the lights begin to flicker in red, gold, and darkness. On the tron is a video familiar to EWA fanatics, pictures of Captain Awesome galore.
Captain Awesome walks out with a cape encasing his entire body with a big A inscribed in gold stitching on the back. He reaches the top of the ramp and pauses until the first words of the song are heard, but just before, the lights go berserk and just flicker on and off really fast, and finally just stay off. Then all of a sudden, stage pyro explodes in white, red, and gold columns just before...
"GO GO CAPTAIN AWESOME!"
The light from the pyrotechnics show the silhouette of Captain Awesome bursting from his cape in an epic manner, and while the light from the pyro fades, a spotlight of white is shown on the Captain while the rest of the arena returns to a slow transition between red, gold, and darkness.
Maria
Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome, Captain Awesome.
The music loops except for the intro for the entire intro as Captain Awesome makes his way to the ring. When he arrives, Awesome delivers a heroic pose on every turnbuckle before finishing off in the center of the ring. After the final
"MAKE US AWESOME CAPTAIN AWESOOOME!"
He is given a microphone to blabber on.
Captain Awesome
Never fear, Awesome is here!
Crowd reaction +5!
CA
On the last few episodes of EWA, we saw a series of unlikely and unfortunate events, ultimately ending up in this one month hiatus.
Crowd boos greatly increased!
CA
We saw three of our best fail a drug test, as a result of using Eagle's supposedly clean urine... but SOMEBODY just couldn't resist his urge for steroids.
Crowd
LOL!
CA
And we also saw "myself" fall to the hands of Cadge and Duke. However, that was my good friend Captain Ahab, who is no longer a good friend because he lost... tsk tsk. Oh well, plenty of fish in the ocean!
Crowd
LMAO!
CA
So what was I doing? Well, I'll tell you what I was doing, I was holding myself ransom.
Crowd
OMFGWTFBBQ!
CA
Yes, that's right. And I succeeded too. You see, I've been contemplating this for a while now, and guess what, they finally paid me! You know why? Because EWA is AWE! You can't spell EWA without the first three letters in AWEsome, there was an I in alliance, and it's all about the mon nay!
Crowd love=0
CA
I've got ultimate control of my salary right now, and there isn't anything you can do about it. Look what happened to EWA without The Captain? How long did it take them to renegotiate my contract so that I would wrestle again? One month, that's how long!
<3 turns into </3
CA
Finally, I'm being given what I deserve, full control over my contract, and now, I'm gonna give me another bonus, ten more vacation days, and five free lunches. On top of that, I'm finally going to settle down in one city, and stay there: Raleigh, North Carolina.
Crowd
What? Que? Huh?
CA
It's such a beautiful place, and I Raleigh don't want to leave it to go on the road. Therefore, I will no longer wrestle for Tenacious Conflict, or Collective Mayhem, only for Ravaged Impact. Since I love you people so much, though, I'm still gonna wrestle for big time events.
Crowd love -1000
CA
Well, just thought I'd let you know that. Have an AWESOME day!
He walks out of the ring and up the ramp to his music. Since everyone is preparing for their extreme matches, no one has time to argue, and the segment ends.
Captain Awesome walks out with a cape encasing his entire body with a big A inscribed in gold stitching on the back. He reaches the top of the ramp and pauses until the first words of the song are heard, but just before, the lights go berserk and just flicker on and off really fast, and finally just stay off. Then all of a sudden, stage pyro explodes in white, red, and gold columns just before...
"GO GO CAPTAIN AWESOME!"
The light from the pyrotechnics show the silhouette of Captain Awesome bursting from his cape in an epic manner, and while the light from the pyro fades, a spotlight of white is shown on the Captain while the rest of the arena returns to a slow transition between red, gold, and darkness.
Maria
Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome, Captain Awesome.
The music loops except for the intro for the entire intro as Captain Awesome makes his way to the ring. When he arrives, Awesome delivers a heroic pose on every turnbuckle before finishing off in the center of the ring. After the final
"MAKE US AWESOME CAPTAIN AWESOOOME!"
He is given a microphone to blabber on.
Captain Awesome
Never fear, Awesome is here!
Crowd reaction +5!
CA
On the last few episodes of EWA, we saw a series of unlikely and unfortunate events, ultimately ending up in this one month hiatus.
Crowd boos greatly increased!
CA
We saw three of our best fail a drug test, as a result of using Eagle's supposedly clean urine... but SOMEBODY just couldn't resist his urge for steroids.
Crowd
LOL!
CA
And we also saw "myself" fall to the hands of Cadge and Duke. However, that was my good friend Captain Ahab, who is no longer a good friend because he lost... tsk tsk. Oh well, plenty of fish in the ocean!
Crowd
LMAO!
CA
So what was I doing? Well, I'll tell you what I was doing, I was holding myself ransom.
Crowd
OMFGWTFBBQ!
CA
Yes, that's right. And I succeeded too. You see, I've been contemplating this for a while now, and guess what, they finally paid me! You know why? Because EWA is AWE! You can't spell EWA without the first three letters in AWEsome, there was an I in alliance, and it's all about the mon nay!
Crowd love=0
CA
I've got ultimate control of my salary right now, and there isn't anything you can do about it. Look what happened to EWA without The Captain? How long did it take them to renegotiate my contract so that I would wrestle again? One month, that's how long!
<3 turns into </3
CA
Finally, I'm being given what I deserve, full control over my contract, and now, I'm gonna give me another bonus, ten more vacation days, and five free lunches. On top of that, I'm finally going to settle down in one city, and stay there: Raleigh, North Carolina.
Crowd
What? Que? Huh?
CA
It's such a beautiful place, and I Raleigh don't want to leave it to go on the road. Therefore, I will no longer wrestle for Tenacious Conflict, or Collective Mayhem, only for Ravaged Impact. Since I love you people so much, though, I'm still gonna wrestle for big time events.
Crowd love -1000
CA
Well, just thought I'd let you know that. Have an AWESOME day!
He walks out of the ring and up the ramp to his music. Since everyone is preparing for their extreme matches, no one has time to argue, and the segment ends.
EOT[/center]
